Trigger Warning: Major Problems

TRIGGER WARNING

My friend told me to fake it until I make it. In other words, continue to tell myself I’m strong and deserve better and that I’m not at fault. I can’t do this? I’m just lying to myself, I know the truth. How do you believe lies?
I mind fucked myself and started crying. I grabbed my teddy bear and snuggled with him to hopefully make me feel better.
Now, I’m having these sick thoughts, that are out of my control. They started when I was analyzing my recent self harm scars. Seriously, what is wrong with me? Why do I think this way? My mind is so fucked. If I lived in the US and in a country that served the death sentence with death, that’s where I’d be.
These thoughts are that ridiculous. And my brain is saying that I could probably get the nerve to do it if I flipped that switch where I go kind of crazy and hysterical.

Not too mention, I’m still depressed as fuck and contemplating self harm again, after already ripping my self apart last night.

Major problems…

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Triggers

TRIGGER WARNING

Perfect lines crossed her wrists, not near any crucial veins, but enough to leave wet red tracks across her skin. She hadn’t hit her veins when she did this; death hadn’t been her goal.
She felt so much emotionally, she would say, that a physical outlet – physical pain – was the only way to make her internal pain go away. It was the only way she could control it.

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