Feeling the Grey

How I feel: incredibly ridiculous and dumbfounded.

I watched a movie this evening… A movie I read the book of.
I’m never pleased with books made into movies. Maybe it’s because I’m a reader and love books, but the movie adaptions are always horrible.

I’m left with this icky feeling that is not pleasing. I must have certain triggers that I’m not fully aware of.
My mood was more or less fine all day. It’s been this way for a couple of weeks. Now all of a sudden, I’ve been rushed back to this god awful state of bewilderment and unease and pain.

I don’t understand why all these horrific thoughts are coming back and running through my mind. Why now? What made them return?

Xx

Arguing

I told him I didn’t want to talk about “the list” right before bed. We had a great last few days together, I didn’t want to ruin the last night. I didn’t want to end up arguing. Low and behold we started out discussing, ended up arguing.

Now as I face my back towards him in bed, I try and cry silently so he doesn’t know I’m upset. I don’t want him to comfort me.

I wish I could get up and run away right now. Emotions are difficult to deal with.