It’s 3:30am and just getting home. I work at 7:45am.
This is going to suck… Big time.
Tonight I hosted a game night with some friends. I host every now and again. We’ve been doing game nights for over a year now.
One of these friends is my last ex. I’m fine with him being a friend. He has a great personality, he is quite humorous, and we share some of the same interests, as well as sharing friends.
Ever since he split with me, he holds onto a lot of negativity. He jokes around a lot, but his jokes are just low blows at me. He has turned into this major douchebag. I can only handle him for a few hours, then I get real sick of him and my frustration levels rise.
I long for my Janitor. I miss him. He hasn’t messaged me since Thursday afternoon. It is his birthday weekend, but still. 😦
I’ve been talking to a few friends about him and my worries. I don’t want to mess things up with him, so I need to learn and change my old patterns that cause a relationship to turn sour. It’s really damn difficult. I think I can clarify a few, but it’s hard to wrap my head around exact reasons. And solutions, don’t even bother. I have no idea how to go about changing my bad habits.
I thought about seeing my therapist again to go over this. It’s causing me an unhealthy amount of anxiety, which is not good for my health and my road to recovery.