Game Night

It’s 3:30am and just getting home. I work at 7:45am.
This is going to suck… Big time.

Tonight I hosted a game night with some friends. I host every now and again. We’ve been doing game nights for over a year now.

One of these friends is my last ex. I’m fine with him being a friend. He has a great personality, he is quite humorous, and we share some of the same interests, as well as sharing friends.
Ever since he split with me, he holds onto a lot of negativity. He jokes around a lot, but his jokes are just low blows at me. He has turned into this major douchebag. I can only handle him for a few hours, then I get real sick of him and my frustration levels rise.

I long for my Janitor. I miss him. He hasn’t messaged me since Thursday afternoon. It is his birthday weekend, but still. 😦
I’ve been talking to a few friends about him and my worries. I don’t want to mess things up with him, so I need to learn and change my old patterns that cause a relationship to turn sour. It’s really damn difficult. I think I can clarify a few, but it’s hard to wrap my head around exact reasons. And solutions, don’t even bother. I have no idea how to go about changing my bad habits.

I thought about seeing my therapist again to go over this. It’s causing me an unhealthy amount of anxiety, which is not good for my health and my road to recovery.

Good night.

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