Do you ever get that feeling where you would like to curl up in a ball and hide in some small place where no one can find you?
That’s how I feel. I’m overwhelmed with responsibility and my thoughts are coming into play. “Your not capable of doing this,” “you suck at everything,” “why do you even bother trying.”
I would like to run away and hide to calm the heck down.
I actually did that once. In my house where I lived with him. I was having a panic attack, I was alone. I thought I was going to jump off the balcony. I hid in the closet for hours to calm down. I needed to be alone, completely alone. Away from the world. He found me after a few hours being home from work. And unfortunately it scared him, along with the cutting. I scared him away. Which is also why we aren’t together anymore. He ran away when I needed him the most. I think I traumatized him. To this day, he has to keep that closet door open. As well as the bathroom door open. I used to lock myself in there and cut myself.
Anyway… I want to go back to that place right now. An uncomfortable, cramped closet.
Take me there?