We’re All In This Together

I killed my back today. It’s no longer in service.
I can’t walk without getting sharp shooting pain down the backs of my legs.
Stupid back!
I have to go to work tomorrow and do the same thing again all day. Hopefully sleeping over night will rest it.
I had to bike in today. I was fighting the wind and it took me twice as long. It was brutal. I worked up a sweat and needed my asthma inhaler (for my exercise induced asthma). Which I didn’t bring! So needless to say I had to walk up hills otherwise I’d be needing to call 9-1-1.
Luckily, it’s pouring like crazy the next few days and get the car.

I had training tonight after work. Does anyone else get that urge to get out there and play when you watch a sporting event? I get that everytime I see a soccer game. I cannot wait for the season to start!

My birthday’s coming up so I need to send out my “invites”. I say “invites” because it is in no way classy or organized. Just friends for dinner.
I do want to do something fun as well with my bestie. Still trying to think of something.

My aunt’s cat has been snuggling with me all night and might sleep the night with me. I must be doing something right… (probably all the head rubs).

My hair was a mess today after riding my bike in the wind. So I threw it up in this simple, new, improvised braid ponytail thing. And it’s actually super cute!

I don’t have time to see my therapist this week even though i’m itching to go. I desperately need to talk and take care of thoughts on my mind. They are really bringing me down and my wall against urges slowly starts to fall. And I don’t want to relapse.

And now that I’m thinking about it, those feelings skyrocketed from 0 to 10.

I shall go distract myself with sleep. Hopefully…

Last night, I was tired but it took forever to fall asleep. 4am was the last time I saw on the clock. My head was spinning with thoughts and memories and to do lists and worries. It was crazy.
I’m hoping tonight is not like that.

Good night. Talk soon.

P.s. I’d also like to reach out to others who are going through hard times as well. I know it’s quite literally shit. I understand in at least some way, if not every way.
A recent thing I have come to recognize is the surprising support of a listener.
I am always here to lend an ear, or two, to someone who is in need.

❀ stay strong.


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